Posted by 79 at 3:54pm Feb 13 '14i don't think the bowler hat is meant to represent society's status, nor is it specifically a comment on sabina (remember, the hat only works in the t/s dynamic - not with her other lover). it's a comment on a specific type of sexual relationship.
there are quite a few people out there who would be (are) incredibly turned on by that dynamic. personally, i see it as kundera showing several different types of relationship/sex dynamics and how the same person can experience completely different situations with very different people and find them fulfilling in different ways - and how it's not totally a matter of who a person is, but who their partner is, as well.
tomas and sabina had a bit of a d/s thing going on (eg, "Strip."), which humiliation and objectification fit right in with.
And then on the other hand, our society thinks it's an insult to tell a male that he's being girly
i agree that this is 100% bullshit.
he needs to man up if he shows any sign of hesitation or emotional vulnerability.
that phrase is gross in so many ways. did you see back when four (i think it was four...? too lazy to tab browse) posted the Ten Responses To "Man Up" video? it's perfect. the group i'm with has done several skits about it over the years, as well, and i actually met the 10RtMU guy a year or two ago - he gave like 7 of us a private reading of that piece, which was really fucking cool.
different species whom it's apparently okay to use for emotional, sexual, and lifestyle gratification, but not okay to actually be.
i think this is focusing on a smaller and more extreme portion of the population than your previous comments - outright mysogeny rather than just being a bro-dick. in the wider arena, i'm not too unsurprised simply because the majority of the population is straight and tends to associate the opposite sex with a type of attraction not present at a fundamental level towards their own sex. for instance, i find girls with long hair far more attractive than girls with short hair - that's not society pressing on me, that's just my personal preference as a male who identifies as only attracted to cis women.
non-hetero people are much, much more comfortable with people who display signs and behaviors associated with the opposite sex. and it's not just a comfort level; it can extend to finding those gender non-conforming traits more attractive than gender-conforming traits.
which i think is wonderful - and as equally valid as my attraction to cis women who are gender-conforming.
i like ULoB - 79